so it’s saturday morning and i’ve had a few days to ponder some things. just a few days ago, i was watching davey run around and play (while i was chillin’ on the couch and it dawned on me that in just a few short months (1-2!), davey will not be an only child. i will have less time, energy and attention to devote just to him. and that made me sad. and since then, i have been watching him more closely. trying to get less exasperated with him. and trying to love on him so much more. he is such a sweet boy. he plays well by himself and really does allow me to get things accomplished. and even as i type these words, i am somewhat saddened that our time as a family of three is coming near it’s end. don’t get me wrong, i am (once again) eagerly anticipating being a mama to a little girl, but it’s hard to let go of the familiar. it’s hard to acknowledge that my precious son, who had a tougher start in life, is going to be a big brother. he will be expected to be more independent. better behaved. mama’s little helper. i pray that we don’t rush him into growing up. i want him to enjoy being a baby/toddler. i want him to enjoy being a kid. i want him to grow at his own rate.
so with that said, even though the craft show is only 33 days away, i am no longer stressing about it. i’m letting it go. what gets done, gets done. i need to spend my time loving my davey. and loving dave. and taking it easy so this baby girl stays in until november (my current prayer). don’t get me wrong, i still have goals and priorities and lists for the craft show, but i’m CHOOSING to no longer worry about it. no longer stress about it. these final days with my only child are more important then preparing for any craft show.
along with that, i spent most of last weekend painting davey’s room. i was feeling stressed and pressured that it needed to be done ASAP. well, it does need to get done. and soon. but it doesn’t have to all be on the weekend when dave is home. davey has two wonderful uncles who live in lynden right now. tom is waiting for school to start and jeff usually has wednesdays off (he works on saturdays and sometimes on sundays). with these two wonderful uncles (whom davey adores), i’ve opted to set up two play dates this week for davey and his uncles… they’ll watch davey while i paint two coats of red on davey’s wall. i only wish i had thought of this sooner!
so there you have it. i’m trying, really trying, to let go. to focus on the now. to live in the moment. to enjoy my sweet boy. to have some energy for my loving husband. and i’m obviously pregnant b/c as i typed this paragraph, my eyes teared up. sheesh! :)
so happy saturday to you all. i have a new outlook on life and this beautiful day of sunshine makes it an even brighter day for me!