i cannot do this

there are times when i seriously think i cannot do this anymore. cannot wake up for one more feeding. cannot change one more diaper. cannot listen to any more crying. cannot be a good mother.

and just when i’ve reached my breaking point (well, sometimes a little while after), he looks me straight in the eye with a look of sheer content…. and my heart melts all over again and i can persevere for at least one more feeding, one more diaper change, one more fussy spell.

unfortunately, that’s not how i feel at this precise moment (9:46 a.m.). right now i’m in the "i just can’t handle this" stage. and this is the stage where i get the most frustrated.

5 thoughts on “i cannot do this

  1. Tam… you CAN do it. You are doing a wonderful job. You are meeting all of Davey’s needs and more! People have often asked me if I thought it was harder to go from having 1 kid to 2 or from 2 kids to 3. I tell them neither. I think it’s hardest to go from 0 kids to 1. You are doing something that you’ve never done before and it’s a big learning curve. You don’t get a break because you’re even responsible for this little person’s needs in the middle of the night. You are in the thick of it right now. I promise it will settle down. If it were always this hard, no one would ever have more kids! You’re doing GREAT!!!! We’ve all been where you are, so you’re not alone. I’ve prayed for you and will continue to. Love you!

  2. Tam… you CAN do it. You are doing a wonderful job. You are meeting all of Davey’s needs and more! People have often asked me if I thought it was harder to go from having 1 kid to 2 or from 2 kids to 3. I tell them neither. I think it’s hardest to go from 0 kids to 1. You are doing something that you’ve never done before and it’s a big learning curve. You don’t get a break because you’re even responsible for this little person’s needs in the middle of the night. You are in the thick of it right now. I promise it will settle down. If it were always this hard, no one would ever have more kids! You’re doing GREAT!!!! We’ve all been where you are, so you’re not alone. I’ve prayed for you and will continue to. Love you!

  3. Oh I love you friend. You can do this. You are doing it. Have confidence in yourself and what you are learning. And call someone that can come over and love on the two of you- I know there are plenty of willing people in L-town to do that! Every new mom has these moments, Tam. It would be weird if you didn’t. I am praying for you!!!!!

  4. You are doing it!! I think it was the hardest going from 0 to 1 kid. Every single thing about your life changes. I found myself desperately wishing for my old life back. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Take it one day at a time. Call someone if you can to help. I wish I lived closer. I’d be over in a heartbeat.

  5. You know I don’t post very often, so you know I REALLY mean this! DITTO to everything everyone as already posted! God is using you in a wonderful way. He will always provide the strength and people you need just when you think you can’t do the one more thing. Lean on His everlasting arms… Talk it out with Him. It’s okay to fall on your face in the middle of the nursery and cry along with your little one. Speaking from experience, you will feel relief from letting it out. And as you very well know, the love for him is as strong as ever if not more when you hold him close once again. I remember a sweet moment in the midst of a terribly fussy time, I huddled myself over Henry on the floor on my knees cradleing him in my arms and began to sing anything that God layed on my heart. It wasn’t necessarily songs just prayers and definatly remebrances of old hymns. God gave me such a peace even as Henry continued to cry… I was experiencing a picture of how God parents us. He surrounds and shelters us in the cleft of the rock. I could feel God hugging me as I leaned as close as possible wispering those songs into my own little Henry’s ears. Make memories of every moment and call any time day or night… I love you Tam. I’m here for you. You are surrounded by love and support. Sleep when he sleeps. (every time if possible … at least for a little while longer)

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